Disappointing
by SGL
Summary: Kyouraku Shunsui learns to avoid certain divisions. Short and simple.


Warnings: Maybe if you're weak of stomach, one sentence might bother you  
Disclaimer: Bleach isn't mine. I make no money from this.

I wrote this a FOUR YEARS AGO for the shunsui_fan community at LJ. I've recently been re-sucked into Bleach, found this, and wondered why I never posted it here. It's better than some of the other crap I left up. I haven't written fanfic in so long...

**Disappointing**

"Why is our captain sleeping in the middle of the hallway again?" Whispers and rumor-mongering are always common among those with less experience, lack of sense, and nothing interesting to do read: shinigami rookies.

"Kyouraku-taichou is hungover."

Blunt resignation to her inability to aid/control her captain was common in Ise Nanao - as was sneaking up on work-ditching rookies.

"Fukutaichou!" Out of nowhere, though belated, brooms reappeared in their hands. How futile.

"Drunk, indolent, and nonchalant as he is at his job, Kyouraku-taichou is anything _but_ incapable and lacking in talent and resourcefulness. He has paid his dues in his centuries of experience." Her spectacles flashed as she adjusted their positioning on her nose. "You two, however, cannot say the same for yourselves. Get back to work. And unless you wish for a different assignment, say, aiding the 4th Division in scrubbing the sewers, these hallways _will_ be gleaming by the time I get back."

...To which Shunsui responded by unexpected stirring, turning over, and violent vomiting on the rookies feet (Nanao had the sense to step back.). Perfect timing.

Nanao sighed, bent down and picked up her considerably broader and taller captain with surprising ease, not once stepping in or touching anything... unpleasant.

"I supposed you feel better now?" she said in an intimate, though somewhat sarcastic tone.

"My Nanao-chan is so good to me, even in my most unattractive moments." His weakest, sickliest smile still held the power to charm.

"As long as you keep your sick off me, we will be in good shape, sir."

"Ah, then... Nanao-chan?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Drop me."

The rookies marveled from behind mops and buckets and cloths tied around their mouths to keep the smell out. The true speed of Shunpo was really something to see in action. One moment, she was under Kyouraku-taichous shoulder, and in a blink, she was gone, yet another puddle of vomit this time, frighteningly tinged with blood lying where her feet were, their captain lying next to it.

"Well, that was unexpected."

"Wah!" The rookies jumped. Nanao had popped up right behind them. Startling.

"Clean up. And inform the 3rd seat he must oversee this afternoons training."

"Why? That's your job. Where are you going?"

"To the 4th Divison. There is obviously something wrong with the captain aside from a simple hangover."

As it turned out, Nanao was correct. Having ventured (secretly and for no reason Nanao could discern at all) into the 12th Division headquarters the night before, Shunsui had caught something from simply being too close to the Bio-Warfare Lab. Kurotsuchi had been experimenting with airborne diseases that could scramble the innards of powerful hollows it was utter dumb luck that Shunsui had only caught a whiff of it and then proceeded to gulp down enough alcohol to sterilize his more important organs say his liver, for example.

Kurotsuchi had been delighted to hear his germs had worked. Nanao caught herself subconsciously devising strategies to inconspicuously kick him. Hard.

Nanao stayed by Shunsui's bedside all night as Unohana-taichou drained his system of the virus the best she could and administered the proper antibiotics.

Unohana also advised Shunsui to drink a good amount of alcohol along with his medicine everyday for a month to stay healthy.

Nanao hung her head. Unohana apologized to Nanao.

Shunsui cheered and gave Unohana a hug.

Later that night, Shunsui sipped sake from a flask, perhaps more gingerly than he normally would and glanced over at Nanao.

"What is it, sir?"

"I'm surprised Nanao-chan hasn't asked me why I was at the 12th Division last night."

"I'm sure it had something to do with attempts at romancing Nemu or some other girl or taste testing sake or any number of things that you shouldn't have been doing while there was paperwork to be completed." Nanao sighed.

"Which you finished?"

"Of course."

"For me?"

"As always."

He smiled. "I was not romancing Nemu-chan. I would never."

"Because Kurotsuchi-taichou gives you the creeps?"

"He gives everyone the creeps. I was there to get this."

He flipped off his hat and pulled out of it a small white box. "For you, Nanao-chan!"

She blinked at his extended hand. "What?"

"This came from the human world. Its been sitting in the 12th Division stockroom for ages. I had to wait for Yama-jiis watchful eye to turn away (import taxes, you know) before I could retrieve it."

"You got a gift for me? That's inappropriate."

"Come on!" He waved it in her face. "You know you want it! Take it! A gift for my lovely Nanao-chan, for supporting me for so long!"

She twitched. It had certainly been a while since someone had given her a nice gift, like jewelry, it looked like...

Shunsui's smile was wide as she took it slowly from his hands and opened the lid.

And it never faded, even when she threw the box at his face and left the room, slamming the door behind her.

Shunsui plucked the silky, lacy, _tiny_ piece of lingerie off his forehead with a frown.

"I suppose this means she wont be wearing it for me. Thats so... disappointing." Hm... he held it up against his own chest. Maybe...


End file.
